Funny

‘Harmony’ Baptist Church: A Free Thinker Is Satans Slave

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Source: Just A Normal Girl

“Thou shalt not think.”

Be a good, boring, stupid religious sheep.

And sheep get herded, milked, fleeced and slaughtered.

So God gave you a brain, but don’t you dare use it.

In case you are bored with what religion has to offer and you want to read something really wonderful then please read the first three volumes of Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East.

For my German readers: Leben und Lehren der Meister in Fernen Osten. Band 1-3.

Read more‘Harmony’ Baptist Church: A Free Thinker Is Satans Slave

Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’

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Source: THE ONION From !!! January 17, 2001 !!!  A must read.

WASHINGTON, DC-Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that “our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.”


President-elect Bush vows that “together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us.”

“My fellow Americans,” Bush said, “at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us.”

Read moreBush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

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If the situation would not be so damn serious, this would be very funny.
Maybe it’s still funny, if you “Always look on the bright side of life”.

Related video: – How the markets really work

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WASHINGTON – A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest.

“What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future,” said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. “We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution.”


A prominent finance expert asks Congress to help Americans rebuild their ficticious dreams.

The current economic woes, brought on by the collapse of the so-called “housing bubble,” are considered the worst to hit investors since the equally untenable dot-com bubble burst in 2001. According to investment experts, now that the option of making millions of dollars in a short time with imaginary profits from bad real-estate deals has disappeared, the need for another spontaneous make-believe source of wealth has never been more urgent.

“Perhaps the new bubble could have something to do with watching movies on cell phones,” said investment banker Greg Carlisle of the New York firm Carlisle, Shaloe & Graves. “Or, say, medicine, or shipping. Or clouds. The manner of bubble isn’t important-just as long as it creates a hugely overvalued market based on nothing more than whimsical fantasy and saddled with the potential for a long-term accrual of debts that will never be paid back, thereby unleashing a ripple effect that will take nearly a decade to correct.”

“The U.S. economy cannot survive on sound investments alone,” Carlisle added.

Read moreRecession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In