H/t reader squodgy:
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BREXIT minister David Davis has proudly told Britain that after six months of tough negotiating he has given in to every single one of the EU’s demands.
Davis, who turned up to negotiations in June with a blank notepad and a hopeful expression, promised that nobody could have fought harder or achieved less than he did.
He continued: “From the first day, when I conceded that negotiations would proceed exactly as the EU had decided and then spent months trying to reverse that, I have been massively out of my depth.
H/t reader squodgy:
IF Britain strikes a new trade deal with the US, what low-quality food will be on your menu?
Pig-flavour Chunky Bits
Made from the parts of pigs no one knew existed, such as the ‘inner flange’ and the ‘duct hole’. The resulting product tastes so unlike pork it has to be flavoured with the equally mysterious ‘bacon concentrate’.
Actually a form of edible plastic, American chocolate is incredibly sweet with a watery, milk-like flavour that leaves an oily residue in your mouth. Preferred by most Americans to real chocolate because they actively enjoy nausea.
Mitochondria: totally real cell organelles that convert sugars, fats and oxygen into usable energy for cells. Midi-chlorians: completely made-up and widely derided microscopic life-forms that give Jedi warriors their ability to use the Force in the “Star Wars” movies.
See the difference? A handful of “peer reviewers” apparently didn’t, as a paper that subbed in “midi-chlorians” for “mitochondria” got accepted into four journals this week. The paper mashed up lightly altered text from Wikipedia on mitochondria with Star Wars-related rambling, including the infamous monologue on the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise from “Revenge of the Sith.”
Linda Sarsour/Sally Kohn/Graham Linehan/Caroline Criado Perez/Gary Lineker/Diane Abbot/someone from the Guardian/a guy from CNN/ISIS has said something really hateful, stupid, and wrong on Twitter. Again.
Back in the day, this would have been a cause for celebration, not dismay. Why? Because within milliseconds of their fatuous utterance tainting the ether with its embittered, warped, politically correct insanity it would have been endorsed – and simultaneously destroyed – by the mighty Godfrey Elfwick.
Godfrey Elfwick was the funniest and best thing on Twitter.
H/t reader kevin a:
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(Note: This leaked email has not yet been verified by WikiLeaks:)
S E C R E T
SECTION 03 OF 1,242 WASHINGTON – 314159265
SUBJECT: Major General protests decision to continue the Russophobia campaign
CLASSIFICATION APPROVED BY: CLASSIFIED
REASON: 1.4 (b), (d)
I strongly urge those reading this email to finally acknowledge that the conditioning phase of the Russophobia campaign has been completed.
The situation is exactly as planned to begin troop movements into Ukraine.