– Elmo Dies Of Myocarditis After Receiving COVID Vaccine:
SESAME STREET – Reports have confirmed that beloved Sesame Street resident Elmo died unexpectedly this morning just a few hours after receiving the COVID vaccine.
“Elmo not feeling so good,” Elmo reportedly said just moments before collapsing.
Officials concluded the cause of death to be “unknown” although medical examiners claim he died of massive heart failure due to Myocarditis – a disease almost never observed in 3-year-olds like Elmo.
“It’s important to remember that our friend Elmo’s death had nothing to do with the COVID vaccine, which is safe and effective,” said Big Bird to reporters. “There is growing evidence that Myocarditis is caused by climate change. That’s why you need to eat bugs and stop using SUVs, kids!”
Another local resident Oscar the Grouch claimed his neighbors are being used as pawns to make billions for Big Pharma even if it costs innocent lives. “Open your eyes, people!” he said before being shushed by Big Bird and carried away by FBI agents.
Elmo is survived by his two loving parents and his handlers at Pfizer.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He’s doing his best to keep his chin up.
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