‘What is ‘Brexit’?’ asks David Davis

BREXIT secretary David Davis has denied ever having heard the word ‘Brexit’ before and has asked somebody to explain it to him. 

Speaking to a Commons select committee, Davis said that it sounded like a made-up word, perhaps for a new kitchen device.

He continued: “Leaving Europe? I hate to contradict you, but that’s a geographical impossibility.

“Exiting the EU? Yes, that is the name of the department I represent, but it’s nothing as brutish as you imply. I think it’s meant to be ‘Exciting the EU’, but the ‘c’ fell off.

“Michel Barnier was my pen-pal from school, that’s why we’re meeting so often. So much to catch up on. He really is marvellous company.

“I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with the novels of Dan Brown, but Triggering Article 50 does sound like a good one. I must read it.”

Davis added: “I am a principled politician concerned about the erosion of civil liberties, who you remember from 2008. There is no so-called ‘Brexit’. There never was.”

H/t reader squodgy:

“Satire”