Source:
A Scottish householder returns home to find that some idiot has took a shit down his chimney. Mike Williams is furious as the chimney had only just been cleaned..Mike raged: “I was just getting home from work when a neighbour ran up and said they had seen a wee ned (Scottish for ruffian) shitting down the chimney. “He’s even taken a wee photo on his phone. When i open the door the smell was incredible. “The wee bastards’s shite had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! “It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There’s no way it’ll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? ‘Och, a ned shat down the chimney’? “If i get my hand s on the little bastard I’ll kick him so hard in the arse he’ll never shit again.”A source at Grampian Police said the crime was “Unpleasant and unusual”.
I think you should follow through with a second article (**wink wink**)
Remember to put toilet paper on the roof.